Confessions of a Ghost: Identity Is Stranger Than Fiction

Ghost Identity
How about this: I have no ID & it is going to actually be a problem to prove I am real.
E-passport – submit a photo & it is compared with “any photos the Government has on file to confirm your identity”. Of course, I cant use that at pubs, it is digital.
If I give a pic to the fusion centre & they compare it to “all images on file” & issue me an e passport, that is at least a start though you’d think, right?
But its all $400+. For what?
& I’d still have to use it to start another process for another ID, it is $40 to send a fax between departments, & an e-passport is not listed as accepted. It doesn’t even say certified copies of anything are accepted for that matter, you should have a look!
“REPLACEMENT OF BIRTH CERTIFICATE 8 WEEKS…IF URGENT 6 WEEKS”, then 5 to 20 working days for the card. But I can not meet the ID requirements for any of them; the three require each other.
Don’t ever be surprised by bureaucracy.
I swear I could get a visa for Russia, with a stay over in North Korea, before my holiday in Iran faster than that. Of course, I’d need a passport first. Who says GOV is not efficient?
& Laws differ by state, naturally  – I’m dealing with multiple states.
Must provide one ID from EACH of category 1, 2 AND 3 for a birth certificate to be issued:
C1: Acceptable ID for issue of a birth certificate, category 1, Birth certificate! (THAT IS NOT A JOKE):
C2 – Unexpired civilian passport (nope).
C3- Drivers license, foreign passport, 18+ card, firearm license (*State specific). (nope)
You need one from each or 2 from C2 – I don’t have it.
Bahaha & for passport reapply “must prove that parent, AND maybe one of your grandparents, were full citizens at the time of your birth”.
Sure, find documents for my grand parents & parents now … & still my own birth certificate anyway as well – finally [REDACTED] makes some sense.
Bear in mind this is all just to prove I’m not in grade 11!
I May have to use my kid’s birth certificate at this rate:
oh no honey, daddy doesn’t drink because of you – daddy just had to have you to prove he was real so he could have the option to drink. True, I’m not much of a drinker but rulez is rulez…now go & get daddy another beer, I’ll wait in the parking lot in case there are cops >>. & don’t skip off with my money: I know where you live!”.
Plus I don’t have a single bill in my name, no student card; hell, my transport card has expired!
Oh hang on – it is stated clearly on the other pages that an e border ID is not accepted – only to enter a country: not to get ID to enter a pub or prove I was actually once born. Don’t be crazy.
Bureaucracy is stranger than fiction.
I’m a ghost.
J(j)R Aug 01 2014 ed 4 (awaiting) TARTH#xx4xo5-x, CoL

About J.Chron.Ltt.&Sci. [JCR]

~CogSc (Humor); NeuroPsych; Philosophy (Death/Identity); Methods (Research); Intelligence/Investigation (Forensic); Medical Error~
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2 Responses to Confessions of a Ghost: Identity Is Stranger Than Fiction

  1. sheketechad says:

    This makes me laugh, since I just renewed my Driver’s License here. The paperwork was ghastly, took me over a week and multiple trips. I feel ya!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Gotta laugh or you’ll cry.

      My Ma just said it is 1/3 the cost to just become a dual citizen.

      Moreover, as a celebrant, up until this year, she could NOT accept an Australian passport as a form of ID for an Australian wedding.

      Foreign passport were of course fine. (o_0)

      & now if you are born here but your parents have not naturalised yet – you are not a citizen. & can be deported to…the ocean I guess?

      You have to live here 10yrs first & apply, which will still be a problem because they must be citzens “on the day of your birth”…no reason why the day after is such a problem, but it is..

      & there are so many blogs of similar or worse stories: even simply being estranged from your parents is suddenly a problem of citizenship. Or if they just file poorly.

      Or if you have 5 mnths left on your passport – as most countries require 6months for entry – because the Gov will not let you renew or extend an unexpired passport: but you also can’t enter anywhere with the one you have.

      They actually had to write into the law that medicare & government healthcare ID would not be accepted…but more arbitrary ID would.

      In the most wild conspiratorial mind I can not see how that happens.


      & we wonder why there is no peace in the mid east: the negotiator probs had passport issues. Meanwhile look at the actual global delays with the US visa sys packing it in currently from outmoded computers & software at the state dept.

      Maybe if there was a bigger defence budget.

      I could go on. ^^ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

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